Entry: Topics I Skipped/Missed/Neglected to Complete Saturday, April 09, 2016

- Plans .... I'm sure I have some, I just need to think about it a bit more

Well, before I didn't know what my plans were. But NOW I have plenty! I plan to:
* get back in shape
* get my bathroom finished (already chose some flooring)
* take more than one trip (doesn't have to be major like the cruise, but it needs to be something other than NY)
* get Don into group activities (right now he's in soccer)
* put more into my savings (yes, while taking trips I intend to save something)
* make a few shirts (because I haven't made a single one since that faggot molested my kid!)

- Work - ooooooooh the drama
I won't bother talking about that shit, because IM OUT THAT BITCH!!!!! WOOT!!!!! IM FREEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

- Travel - Disney was great! Desires for the next trip.

As I said above I hope to go somewhere else this year other than the cruise. I'm thinking about the Poconos because I've never been. It's simple, close, and affordable compared to the overseas adventures I'd like to take. Maybe next year will be my year for that. 2017, 35th bday business! :)

- Family - cutting the cord!

I've been distancing myself and obtaining more autonomy with each passing day. Of course I still ask for and receive help occasionally, but when it comes to a direction; I've been doing things my way! I've said no to the things I don't agree with. I've put my foot down, and sometimes shouted when my voice was being drowned out.

- My Him :) - and the greatness of all that he is.

The jury is out on this case for the moment. I had a bunch of things to say when I first wrote my list of topics, but since then I've been pushed to the back burner and feel ... lonely. I'm upset, my son is upset, and he is oblivious. Let him tell it, he's not oblivious and he knows the things that bother me so I guess that would only prove my statements about how selfish he's been. I want to be loved the way I need to be loved, which I've said to him. I don't want to be loved the way he feels like doing it which doesn't make me feel any kind of way at all. Hell I'm not even loved! I was told if I continue to WAIT that I'll be able to see he's capable of love through how he treats his kids. Awwww how sweet (sarcasm!). I don't want to SEE, I want to FEEL! Who wouldn't want to be the recipient of such a feeling?! Touch me, hold me, caress my skin, talk to me, take me somewhere, show me off, make me believe you give a damn about me and not just the comfort and ease I bring to your life. I'd rather not complain over n over about why I'm unhappy. Instead, maybe I need to accept that he's not ready and distance myself.

Romans 13:8 Owe no one anything, except to love each other, for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law.
Ephesians 4:2-3 with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.

I love him. I want him. I want the same in return without begging for it.

- Mini Me - ooooooooooh the drama, the good the bad the ugly


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